On Why I am Becoming a Bhikkhuni

Many folks have asked about my practice in two Buddhist traditions, and my reasons for wanting to become a bhikkhuni in the Theravada. There is so much to say about this, and I hope to write something a bit longer in the future, but for now I can share a bit.

As my practice was evolving over the past 33 years, I noticed that each time I became more aligned with the vinaya - by taking up celibacy, by being more disciplined around eating, by applying the ways that renunciation is described in the Pali suttas - I saw a direct benefit to my practice. That is, I began to see the practice of vinaya as a support, rather than as something to be endured. And I began to feel that this form that is not offered in the Zen tradition could be crucial to my development as a practitioner.

The same can also be said about other aspects of Theravada practice. I began practicing metta, the loving kindness meditation, 15 years ago. The many years of metta and study of the Pali suttas naturally lead me to a greater and greater appreciation of the teachings of this tradition. I know for myself how beneficial they are and how true they are to my experience.

Three years ago I came to Aloka Vihara, the monastery where I now reside. At that time I thought I might only spend a few months here, while I was thinking about what my next steps in Zen would be. Yet again and again I found here more clarity on the cushion, more joy in my heart, and more freedom than I had experienced in my previous monastic life. It seemed only reasonable to continue in this form if I could also remain true to my bodhisattva vows. It is thanks to the unfathomable wisdom of the Buddha and to the generosity of heart of my sisters at Aloka Vihara that I have found that I can, in fact, be respectful to both traditions and fully engaged, fully committed to each of them.

The Path leads onward. The Path leads inward.